I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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