OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
