How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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