yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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