so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
