I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
