I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I believe in your delicious
I want to fling myself into the sun
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
