are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
