the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
