True but thats because hes a fetus.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
