Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
