Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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