how can u be prego again
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
