Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
