it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
