it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
