I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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