i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
