So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
