dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
