the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
