I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Damn victory sex feels great
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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