you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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