all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish my penis had a tongue
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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