Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
