remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
