god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
