Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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(817): View more from Texas

well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while

Fav 33 1970 5289
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(513): View more from Ohio

Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(816): View more from Missouri

Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet

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(785): View more from Kansas

Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now

Fav 2 4018 1170
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.

Fav 0 912 570
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.

Fav 1 63 21
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.

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