it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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