I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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