"it" just moved
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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