Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
