He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
