I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
