The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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