Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
