I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
