hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm always down for nudity.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
