I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
