I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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