i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
