just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i think i have herpe
just one?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I fill condoms, not promises.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
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