Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
