She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
