I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
