You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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