Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im six kinds of drunk right now
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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