I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
