I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
