Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
