grandma shit on top of the toilet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
