So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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