I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
